Blessings, Not Burdens: Why Marriage Vows Should Focus on Positivity – Beware Kugblenu Narh

Marriage vows are a fundamental part of Christian weddings, serving as the foundation of the covenant that unites couples in holy matrimony. However, these vows often elicit mixed reactions from newlyweds and prospective couples. Chartered Accountant, Missionary, and Author, Mr. Beware Kugblenu Narh, has challenged the validity and intent of a widely affirmed marriage vow in churches. In the article below, he makes a compelling case for revisiting and revising this vow to better reflect its true purpose.

The concept of marriage has its roots in creation, when God, in His infinite wisdom, created Eve as a suitable companion for Adam. This divine union not only addressed Adam’s solitude but also established a foundational framework for humanity. Across generations, marriage has served as the bedrock for lineage tracing and genealogy. Its significance transcends mere companionship, reflecting a divine order of purpose and continuity.

A careful examination of the creation account reveals God’s meticulous approach to instituting marriage. In Genesis 2:21, God skillfully removed Adam’s rib and fashioned it into a woman. He then presented her to Adam, who joyfully recognized her as “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23). This profound moment underscores the joy and completeness intended in marriage.

THE EVOLUTION OF THE MARRIAGE VOW

Historians note that marriage ceremonies were initially devoid of any formal vows until the mid-16th century. It was Thomas Cranmer, the Archbishop of Canterbury, who in 1549 introduced the marriage vow as part of the “Book of Common Prayer”.

Having attended numerous wedding ceremonies in Ghana, I have observed certain practices that merit reconsideration, particularly regarding:

• How the marriage vow is observed.

• The content of the marriage vow itself.

HOW THE MARRIAGE VOW IS OBSERVED

In many ceremonies, couples recite the marriage vows more as a routine tradition than as a meaningful covenant of love. This observation suggests a lack of deep understanding of its significance. I propose that the marriage vow should be given greater prominence. It could even be documented as part of the marriage certificate, serving as a constant reminder of the covenant the couple has entered into.

THE CONTENT OF THE MARRIAGE VOW

“I [Name] take thee [Name] to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance: And thereto I plight thee my troth.”

While this vow has stood the test of time, its phrasing raises questions worth addressing. The clause “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health” seems, to some, like a forewarning of adversity. Does this imply that couples should anticipate sickness, poverty, or hardship as inevitable parts of marriage? Would it not be more uplifting to declare vows that speak of positivity and growth?

REFRAMING THE MARRIAGE VOW

Instead of “for better, for worse,” why not “for better and for best”? Why not pledge to uphold health, prosperity, and unending joy? By rephrasing the vow, we can emphasize the hope and optimism that marriage embodies. Declaring this does not mean that should sickness or “the worse” arise, divorce is an option.

WHY THE MARRIAGE VOW SHOULD BE RETHOUGHT

THE POWER OF CONFESSION

Words hold power. The vows we speak over our union set the tone for our journey together. A vow that anticipates hardship may inadvertently shape expectations and experiences. By reframing the vow, we can focus on cultivating a positive, hopeful mindset.

Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” This underscores the significance of the words we speak.

THE COVENANT OF BLESSING

Marriage, like all covenants in the Bible, is meant to be a vessel of blessings. In Genesis 12:2-3, God’s covenant with Abraham was filled with promises of prosperity and growth: “I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.” Similarly, marriage vows should reflect this pattern of blessings, declaring joy, love, and abundance in the union. Reframing the vows would align them with God’s covenantal nature, ensuring that they speak life and hope over the marriage.

A COVENANT OF HOPE

Marriage should be built on a foundation of hope, optimism, and faith in God’s goodness. Our vows should reflect this unwavering belief. By reevaluating the marriage vow, we can create a more uplifting, hopeful declaration of love and commitment.

GOD’S INTENT FOR MARITAL JOY AND PROSPERITY

Ecclesiastes 9:9 says, “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that He has given you under the sun.” This scripture reveals that God’s design for marriage is rooted in joy, unity, and flourishing. Even the need to find Adam’s helpmeet reflects God’s intended joy and blessing for couples. By revising marriage vows to focus on blessings, love, and positivity, couples can align their commitments with God’s intention for marital joy and prosperity, setting a hopeful tone for their union.

CONCLUSION

The marriage vow deserves thoughtful reconsideration. By rephrasing it to reflect positivity and hope, we can uphold the sacredness of marriage while inspiring couples to embrace a future filled with promise and joy.

God bless you

Beware Narh Kugblenu

Missionary

Author